Helping my Anxious Child
Anxiety is often a normal part of childhood and adolescence, but there’s a difference between everyday worry and chronic anxiety. By understanding the distinctions, you can help your child manage their symptoms effectively.
Understanding anxiety in children and teens
As parents, we always desire the best for our children. We want them to be healthy, happy, and resilient when faced with life’s challenges. Anxiety is a common issue that children, adolescents, and teens, often experience or struggle with at different phases of their development.
While coping with your child’s anxiety can be a difficult situation for you as a parent, the good news is that anxiety is a highly treatable condition. There is also a great deal you can do to help your child. Rather than assume that your child will outgrow their anxiety, it’s better to start taking steps as soon as possible to help your child deal with their symptoms and regain control of how they view the world around them.
How can I know that my child is struggling with anxiety?
Anxiety disorders in children are characterized by irritability, nervousness, excessive worrying, shyness, sleep problems, and/or physical symptoms, such as headaches or digestive issues. Kids are greatly affected by what’s happening in the world around them. They may feel drained and isolated from others, as well as being fearful or having feelings of shame. Children with anxiety may also have difficulty making friends or participating in other social activities.
For teenagers, the majority the of their worries are connected with feelings about themselves. These may encompass academic performance and pressures to succeed in school, how they are perceived by others, and concerns about their body image connected with physical development. Anxiety in teens is not always apparent because they tend to disguise their thoughts and feelings.
Some of the signs to look out for are:
Constant fears or worries about routine aspects of their lives.
Withdrawal from friends or social activities.
Irritability or lashing out at others.
Refusal to go to school.
Sleep problems.
Substance abuse.
Constantly seeking reassurance.
Difficulties in school or sudden poor performance.
How can social media affect my child’s anxiety?
Adolescents and teenagers, in particular, spend countless hours on their smartphones texting and messaging friends, and engaging on their online accounts. In some respects, this can be an enjoyable, positive experience, but in others, it may also heighten anxiety and feelings of isolation and depression. While social media can help kids and teens stay connected and maintain closer ties to friends and family, it can also promote bullying and negatively impact self-image and self-esteem.
How can I help my child with their anxiety?
Respond to their anxiety in the helpful way
This may sound intuitive, but as a parent dealing with a child who has anxiety it’s important you remain as calm and hopeful as possible. The way you respond to your child’s thoughts and behaviors can have a significant impact on their ability to cope. You can help them by:
Talking to your child about their worries and validating their experience.
Showing concern, understanding and active listening
Being supportive but not controlling
Building your child’s coping skills
We can provide you with a full guide for anxiety coping strategies that you can go through and help your children implement in their daily lives.
Be a positive role model for your child
Your child looks up to you and needs your guidance in showing them how to manage stress and anxiety. The way you deal with frustration and express anger is a prime example. Try to remain calm and patient as possible when dealing with problems and challenging situations. The way you speak and what you speak about can also have a huge influence on even a difficult teenager’s values and behavior.
Parents who take care of themselves by getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and eating a healthy diet can encourage their children to do the same. Avoid making negative comments about your
own body, though, since this can lead to poor self-image and body shaming.
Modeling a healthy approach to life can also teach your children valuable lessons. We all make mistakes and children should realize that although parents have flaws, they can still successfully overcome adversity. This can help remove unnecessary pressures that may contribute to your child’s anxiety.
Practice relaxation techniques with your child
Offer to do some deep breathing or meditation exercises with your child. This will acknowledge how they are feeling and provide proactive relaxation strategies that you can try together. When children are anxious, their breathing usually becomes shallow. You can try deep belly breathing in which your child places one hand on their chest and the other on their belly. When they inhale their belly should expand and when they exhale, their belly should contract.
Turning off cell phones and social media and tuning into their “happy place” is great skill to practice each day. Your teen can summon up a specific memory or situation that makes them feel calm, secure, and content. Maybe this is associated with spending time on the beach, a vacation spot that was peaceful, or being surrounded by nature. Using visualization of beautiful images or pleasant sounds is an ideal way to tap into this state of relaxation.
Promote good sleep hygiene
Since anxious children often have trouble sleeping, establishing a predictable and relaxing sleep routine is essential. Set a regular sleep schedule, curtailing exercise and reducing exposure to light close to bedtime, and avoiding caffeine.
Encourage healthy social media use
having discussions with children about the pros and cons of social media is a good place to start. Instead of simply trying to force your child to put their phone away—which may only add to their anxiety—there are more positive steps you can take.
Set a good example for your children by limiting your own screen-time.
Encourage your child to socialize more with friends in person and participate in creative activities.
Set aside a designated time when the whole family is screen-free from phones and computers.
Remind teens especially that the images they see on social media are often digitally altered and not an accurate representation of real-life.
Encourage your child to cut ties with those who post negative comments about them and urge them to be responsible when posting comments about others.
Decrease screen-time if social media is impacting your child’s schoolwork, sleep, or involvement in outside activities.
What else can I do to help my teenage child?
Talk to your teen about anxiety
Reassure your teen that anxiety can also serve as a protective emotion.
Keep an open dialog with your teen.
Use active listening skills.
Prepare them on how to handle difficult situations.
Build your teen’s self-esteem
Highlight your teen’s strengths instead of their weaknesses.
Be aware of the expectations you set for them.
Show the value of helping others.
How can I help my child if they are having a panic attack?
Panic attacks can be extremely frightening, both for children to experience and parents to observe. The onset often occurs during adolescence, but it may start during childhood, as well. These episodes can last as long as 10 to 15 minutes, with a variety of symptoms, such rapid heartbeat, sweating, chest pain, dizziness, and feelings of choking. You can educate your child about panic attacks so they understand more about why they occur—and reassure them that even though the physical sensations may be scary, they are not harmful or life threatening.
You can also assist your child or teen while they are having a panic attack. Being a comforting presence and expressing empathy is a key factor. Remind them that the panic attack will be over in a few minutes, and try to shift the focus to more pleasant diversions. Engaging in exercise, playing games, watching TV, or doing breathing and relaxation techniques or other things they enjoy can help.
When Should you seek professional help and what can we provide at Mind Clinic for your child?
If you do not see sufficient improvement in your child or teen’s anxiety, it may be time to seek additional support. Here in mind clinic we work as a team of psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, medical doctors and nutritionists to set a full personalized plan to help and support your child in dealing with their anxiety. The plan may include:
Medical treatment: With Antidepressants or/and Anxiolytic medications.
Psychotherapy: With Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), While it can be effective when working directly with the child, parents are also encouraged to be included in this approach.
Nutrition: It can be helpful if your child is struggling with healthy eating habits, their self-image, and their relationship with food.
Citations:
Smith, M., MA. (n.d.). Anxiety in Children and Teens: A Parent’s guide. HelpGuide.org. Retrieved July 17, 2024, from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/anxiety-in-children-and-teens.htm